Remember when you first got together as a couple and you couldn’t wait to see each other? You made it a priority to spend time together.
As you got comfortable in your relationship, you may have gotten complacent about the quality time you spend together. Sure, you may “hang out”, do chores together, and spend low quality time in each other’s presence.
But, spending quality time together is important for the health of any relationship. Try to go out on a real date at least every couple of weeks. When you make an effort to plan and prepare for a date, you indicate to your partner that you continue to enjoy his or her company.
Your time is valuable. No matter how rich you are, you only have 24 hours in a day. When you “invest” some of those hours in your partner, you enrich the relationship.
If you don’t do this, you can expect your relationship to wither away from neglect.
Keep Up the Communication
You stay close with your honey by sharing your thoughts, dreams, hopes, and fears. If you stop doing this, your relationship will die.
There are many types of communication in a relationship. Some is the currency of everyday life: “can you pick up a gallon of milk on the way home?” “who’s going to drop off the kids.”
Some of it is endearing particularly “I love you.”
Some of it is pillow talk.
And, some is effectively arguing.
That’s right ñ not every communication is going to be one of love or agreement. You need to know how to fight fair if you are going to have a successful relationship.
That’s because no relationship goes along smoothly 100 percent of the time. There are issues to be resolved.
How you resolve those problems is key to how effective your relationship works for you.
So, learn to be assertive about your needs but also willing to listen and compromise.
Learning the art of communication with your partner will go a long way to securing your relationship for the duration.
The Most Important Times of the Day
There are three times during the day that are key to your relationship. While they only last 15 minutes a piece, these 45 minutes are more important than the other 23 hours combined.
The first important time is the first time you see each other in the morning. So, instead of grousing, start the day with a big hug and tell your partner you love him or her.
The next time is right when you get home from work. You’ve been apart for 10 hours or so and this is your chance to reconnect.
Don’t come in, slam the door and complain about your boss. Instead, start the evening off right by letting your spouse know how much you appreciate coming home to him or her.
This is not to say that you can’t use your spouse as a sounding board for the problems you face in work or life. But, treasure the first 15 minutes by making an effort to be positive about the other person rather than negative about outside forces.
Finally, the last 15 minutes before one of you drifts off to sleep are key. Your brain will work on the things that are said and done right before falling asleep, so make sure these experiences are positive.
If you are not married or living together but are in a committed relationship, the last 15 minutes you spend before going home for the night are probably the most important of the date.
By practicing appreciation during these three 15 minute periods, you will let your mate know that you don’t take him or her for granted. Wonderful things tend to happen when you reshape your approach during these times. You will find it easier to handle stress that happens during the other times because you have “banked” these good times.